5 Expert Tips on Talking to Aging Parents about Home Health Care

January 24, 2018/in Caregiver Services, Caregiving Support, Family Issues/by admin

It can be extremely difficult to talk to aging parents about getting extra help at home. In a current report that discussed a survey by AARP, 9 out of 10 seniors expressed interest in staying in their homes while aging. However, it is estimated that 70% of seniors will need in-home assistance to stay safe while aging in place. So, how do you speak to your aging parents about getting outside help from a home health care agency? While it can be extremely difficult to do so, it can be done. It must be done with care and sensitivity. Otherwise, you risk the discussion turning into an argument or an immediate shutdown on the topic.

A lot of aging seniors see home health care as a surrender of freedom. While it may seem that way, hiring an in-home care provider can actually bring more freedom to a senior’s situation than anything else! Whether aging parents are resisting because they see home health care as a surrender of independence or fear they will become a burden, these 5 expert tips will help make the discussion easier.

5 Tips on Starting a Discussion about Getting an In-Home Provider

1. Don’t Discuss the Limitations, but the Advantages to Home Health Care

One of the most important things to know about talking to your parents about home health care is that you should go into it positively. Most people will get defensive when first confronted with the idea of giving up independence. However, if you discuss the advantages of home health care instead of the limitations, they are more likely to be open to the idea. One of the best advantages to discuss with aging parents is that in-home health care is better than assisted living. As we stated earlier, 90% of elderly adults want to age in their home. That is one of the biggest advantages of home health care and making clear from the very beginning often makes the discussion a lot easier.

2. Suggest Home Health Care Instead of Insisting on Assistance

Being told to do something is never easy. This is especially true when role reversal is involved and a parent is being told to do something by their child. By suggesting home health care as an option instead of insisting on assistance, elderly parents are more likely to be open to the idea. Daily Caring – an award winning caregiver resource – has great insight into how to suggest home health care. They recommend that you “talk about how they’ve [your parents] reached a point in their life where they deserve a personal assistant to make life easier and smoother”. By spinning a home health care assistant as a luxury, parents may be more open to the idea of making their life easier.

3. Focus on Others Who Have Tried Home Health Care and Benefited

Before approaching the subject of home health care with a parent, do some research. Do they have close friends who use home health care assistants? Who do their friends use and how do they like having help around the home? By focusing on others, especially close friends, who have tried home health care and benefited from it, your parent is more likely to open up to the idea. As the common saying goes, “the proof is in the pudding”. If their friends are really happier with some in-home assistance, why wouldn’t they be? Focus on the benefits of home health care including:

4. Include Them in the Decision Making Process

When it comes down to it, the suggestion for home health care can be yours but the decision should be your parents. Make it clear to your parent that they will be a part of the entire process of choosing a caregiver. They will be the one person spending the most time with this caregiver, so it is important they like them and feel comfortable with them. By giving your elderly parent a say in the process, it will help them feel more in control. Control is extremely important during a time in which they are losing some of their independence, so be sure to include them in each decision.

5. Run Care Giving Trials with Different Agencies

It is always better when you can test something out before purchasing it. When it comes to home health care, most agencies will offer “trial periods” to see if in-home care is the right option. By making it clear to your parent that the first run is a trial and nothing permanent, they may be more open to giving it a shot. Homecare.com has a great tip, too, regarding trial runs. While your parent is getting to know their home health care professional, take a trip! Being out of the picture can give your parent a real chance to get to know the caregiver and what it would be like to have home health care assistance without it feeling permanent.

Home health care is a sensitive topic for parents and children alike, but these tips can help make the approach easier. By softening the idea of home health care with familiarity, inclusion, and test runs, parents often warm to the idea as time goes on. In the end, in-home care providers can help relieve the burden of aging off of parent’s shoulders as well as children’s. The benefits of home health care greatly outweigh the drawbacks. However, for some, it takes a little longer to realize that than it does others.

At Premier Caregiver Services — in Louisville, KY and Eastern, KY — is an independent and locally owned agency specializing in personal care services. We strive to offer the best in home health care by providing dependable and experienced caregivers to elderly adults across the area. We offer a wide variety of home care services, have multiple payment options available, and are happy to provide a free assessment to get you started! Contact us through our website or by calling 877-724-3678 today!

Premier Caregiver Services Sponsors Norton Healthcare Event

April 19, 2016/in Caregiver Services, Caregiving Support, Family Issues, Senior Safety/by admin

Aging Gracefully: Creating a Senior Care Plan for Mom and Dad

Moderator, Jackie Hays speaks at the “Aging Gracefully” event hosted by Norton Healthcare.

On Wednesday, March 30, 2016, the Norton Healthcare Employee Resource Group for Women or NWIRED, hosted an event called, “Aging Gracefully.” This free program sponsored by Premier Caregiver Services and the Norton Healthcare Foundation, discussed the details and conversations involved in creating a senior care plan for mom and dad. With this topic, a panel of speakers addressed the fact that many times it’s the eldest daughter who is responsible for making the decisions for her parent’s long term care. This conversation covered many topics related to senior caregiving and care planning including: developing a care plan, taking away the car keys, learning your parents’ medical history and understanding your parents’ preferred care preferences.

Panelists include (right to left): Mary Kate Probst, Amy Jo Condo, Merrily Orsini and Misty Clark Vantrease.

A group of four female panelists, guided by moderator Jackie Hays, helped conduct this discussion. Moderator Jackie Hays is an Emmy award-winning journalist that currently writes and produces health-related stories for Norton Healthcare. The women on the panel presented different areas of expertise and experience on senior home care planning. Merrily Orsini, an elder care professional, brought her extensive knowledge to the panel, along with pharmacist Dr. Mary Kate Probst. The panel also included Misty Clark Vantrease, an attorney with Kentucky ElderLaw PLLC, and Amy Jo Condo, a daughter that discussed her experiences caring for her 92-year-old mother.

50 guests attended the “Aging Gracefully” event hosted by Premier Caregiver Services and the Norton Healthcare Foundation.

All of the panel participants brought their diverse experience and knowledge to the discussion to provide a 360 degree perspective on senior caregiving and creating a care plan. Mary Jo Condo is a busy mom and business owner that spoke about the challenging and humorous experiences that coincide with caring for aging parents. These personalized stories from a person who has been through the senior caregiving experience and truly understands helped connect everyone who attended the event. The panelists were on hand to answer any types of questions and to connect participants to resources in the Louisville, Kentucky community.

While many may find the topic of creating a senior care plan for aging parents challenging, this panel showed how beneficial it is to take the time to do it. Starting the conversation isn’t always easy, but with the help of Norton Healthcare, Premier Caregiver Services and these panelists, the 50 attendees left the event with a deeper understanding and more confidence to open up the conversation with their parents and other aging loved ones.

For additional information about senior home care services in Louisville, Kentucky and Eastern, Kentucky, including how to address home accessibility and safety, meal preparation, transportation assistance and much more, give Premier Caregiver Services a call at 877-724-3678. We look forward to hearing from you.

Free Senior Care Workshop Helps You Create a Care Plan for Mom and Dad

March 21, 2016/in Caregiver Services, Caregiving Support, Family Issues/by admin

If you are the eldest daughter in your family, you are most likely going to be the one making decisions about your parent’s long-term care. Do you have a plan in place to keep your mom or dad safely at home? When–and–how do you have a conversation about taking away car keys or moving into an assisted living arrangement? Do you know your parent’s medical medical history, medications and care preferences? Where do you turn for help?

Join us for a discussion about creating a care plan before you need one. Amy Jo Condo, a busy mom and business owner, will share her challenging and humorous experiences caring for her parents. The following experts will be on hand to answer your questions and connect you with important community resources:

Merrily Orsini, elder care professional
Kate Probst, Pharm.D., BCACP, pharmacist
Misty Clark Vantrease, attorney with Kentucky ElderLaw PLLc

Wednesday, March 30 5:30 to 7 p.m.

Marshall Women’s Health & Education Center
Norton Medical Plaza 3 – St. Matthews, Suite 108
4123 Dutchmans Lane
Louisville, Kentucky

Space is limited. Call (502) 629-1234 by March 28 to RSVP for this free program.

Sponsored by:

Dementia and Driving

April 3, 2015/0 Comments/in Caregiver Services, Caregiving Support, Family Issues/by admin

When to Take Away the Keys: Dementia & Driving

If you have a family member suffering from Dementia, one of the many issues that will arise is letting them operate a vehicle. Early on, it may not seem like such a topic to concern yourself with. Over time, however, we become desensitized to the dementia, meaning we know they have it and we deal with it and “forget” as time goes by.

It is almost impossible to gauge the aggressiveness of dementia, as it moves at its own pace and can accelerate without any sign. There are multiple differences in dementia itself: your loved one can have long term memory loss (not remembering life-long friends) or short term memory loss (not remembering what they ate for dinner). Or even a combination of both.

Personally, I can only speak on short term memory loss. Even though my mom has short term loss, driving a car is a long term thing she has been doing for years. This is where it starts to get tricky – you have to remember you are more than likely taking away an aspect of the dementia’s patients life that is older than you are! Driving may have been their first feeling of freedom and perhaps their last bit of independence as they age.

This decision does not have to come from their doctor. You can try talking with them individually but it may end up a moot point as the person with dementia sees (or remembers) nothing wrong. No matter how well you explain it, you have to remember that tomorrow can be a whole new day in their mind!

Our first plan was to try and slip the keys out of her purse which did not go over well. We ended up giving the keys back because we could not rationalize why we did it. We then tried the doctor thing and that did not work well either. Finally, we found something that did work; telling her the car had some problems and needed to be fixed. She agreed to have it put in the auto repair shop. It took about 2 weeks of daily reminding, then we changed the story to tell her that there was a serious engine problem that could not be fixed. She came to the conclusion that she was not going to buy a new car and agreed to sell it (we did). Most importantly, we reinforced the idea that we would still take her to wherever she wanted.

Although this is a indirect and non-confrontational way of taking away the keys, it leads my mom to believe it was her decision to give up the keys and sell the car. It still requires us to remind her every day that it was her own decision to sell the car. Our fall-back plan ended up being disabling the car by pulling the negative battery terminal. If all else fails, you may have to resort to something as simple as this to keep your mom safe and off the road.

Keeping Siblings Informed About Parents’ Health

March 5, 2015/0 Comments/in Family Issues/by admin

Adult children faced with aging parents’ failing health issues and senior home care often create friction among themselves, sometimes reverting back to old oppressive moments of sibling rivalry, when making choices for Dad and Mom. Everyone cares about what happens but may not agree on the same decisions, which triggers misunderstandings and conflicts. Compromising about any home care, stroke care, or dementia care for the elderly can be challenging but attainable with communication, honesty and equally informing one another.

Many adult children accept the primary caregiver role by emotional ties, geographic location, age, or as they take on more and more tasks. Encourage all sibling participation early on and try not to make them feel resentment or left out. For those who remain distant, do everything possible to keep or get them involved. Give those having a desire to be updated a weekly report concerning Dad and Mom. Keep everyone in the loop if possible – solicit their help, advice and support.

Keeping siblings informed via telephone, email, mail, texting, social networking and visits eliminates potential family stress and anxiety. Caring for Dad and Mom during their aging years should be the first priority for everyone. Stay in touch.

Tips to keep siblings informed:

Use social media especially for those out of town.
Share appointments, reports, and objective feedback from professionals.
Pick up the phone and call one another or send a text message, “Dad’s lab results were good.”
Schedule family meetings and discussions.

Each sibling, from the primary caregiver to those living out of town, have obligations and rights to anything and everything that concerns Dad and Mom. Stay in touch…